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The Time We Have
Published 3 months ago • 5 min read
Welcome to the Growth Guide, a weekly newsletter where I share actionable ideas to help you Live Better, Achieve More and Be Financially Free.
The Time We Have
79.5 years
It's 954 months
That's 4,134 weeks
Which is 28,938 days
This is how long you'll live.
It is the average N. American life span.
As our kids age and my wife and I grow older, I think about this a lot.
But, before we dive into my thoughts on this, here's a word from our wonderful sponsor this week:
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We went to watch our son at the provincial (state) track and field championships last week.
He was throwing the shot put, and between each throw, he went and talked to his coach but wouldn't talk with us.
He came into the event seeded fifth in the province and was practicing outside school by himself with a shot put we bought off Amazon for him.
The first two throws didn't go well.
I wondered if maybe it was my fault, which I'll explain.
He got up for his third and final throw. If he made the top 8 out of the 32 throwers, he'd go onto the playoff and get three more throws.
He lined up, did his spin and threw a beauty. He'd punched his ticket. But, something was strange. They weren't measuring it and I realized, they'd put up the flag. His foot had touched the line on the edge of the circle. Foot fault. It didn't count.
I watched him walk over to his coach. Head down. Broken. They talked and he started to walk back to his friends. I motioned him over. He didn't want to come. He was tearing up, I could see it. I hugged him and said I love you, it's okay.
We later found out he finished 9th. That throw would have put him in the top 5 and he'd have had three more chances to podium...
A Step Back
Why would I think it was my fault?
I've always put so much pressure on my boys, but mostly, my eldest.
In the last few years, I've learned to let go. To be calmer. To let him live his life and to support his dreams.
But, you never lose that past. The pressure I put on him for the first 12 or 13 years of his life are hard to forget.
He may not even remember.
It may be a distant part of his past.
But, I can't help but think when he got up to throw with me standing there, it added the pressure he hadn't felt when he threw so much further in the two track meets leading up to the championships.
What Next
I'm cognizant I've only got so much time left.
Even worse, I have even less time with my two boys, especially the eldest.
In two years, he'll graduate high school.
Once he's done, he'll likely go away to school. Either in the US or in Eastern Canada.
This means I need as much quality time as I can with him between his sports, training, friendships and dating life. A tall order. I know.
For every problem, though, there's a solution.
I signed him up for a gym membership with me.
Starting next week, he'll join me in the mornings at the gym before school and work.
We'll get a workout in, together, have a steam or sauna, then get dressed, pick up his brother and head to school.
It will be our time.
To bond. Talk. Be there.
When he goes to school, we'll transfer the membership to his younger brother and I'll get three years in the gym with him.
The Bigger Picture
If the statistics are accurate, I should plan on 34 more years.
It's a lot and at the same time, it's scary to think that's all I have left.
What it means, though, is I'm going to focus on making sure every week, month and year I have left is doing what I love.
It will be spending time with people who light me up, add value to my life and make this world a brighter place.
It was on my mind today when I talked with my wife about what we're creating together.
Sometimes, when people ask her if she likes it, she makes a meh face and shrugs. Not exactly an endorsement.
My feedback to her today was I don't want that for her.
With a similar amount of time left and all she's done for our family, I want her to be happy, to love what she's doing, and to build the life she wants.
If it means I need to hire a few VAs to help me with what I'm building, that's what we'll do.
Her happiness.
The rest of her time.
That's what matters to me.
To some extent, it's why I left my job.
It's why I'm building a different life. A life I can't wait to share with you next Thursday.
I know I said it would probably come today, but unfortunately, we're behind in the web build, and I want you to be able to see what we're doing in all of its splendor, which will take one more week.
When you think about how much time you have:
Left
With your kids
With your aging parents
How do you want to spend that time?
TGG Podcast
This week on the Growth Guide Podcast, I talk about Building Your Eulogy vs Your Resume.
On a past episode of the podcast, my guest, Vanessa Loder, talked about the concept of building your resume versus building your eulogy.
It's a powerful idea, and it got me thinking deeply about how we live our lives and what we prioritize.
While I was reflecting on Vanessa's words, I came across a quote by Kevin Kelly, that added even more depth to this concept.
Before you’re old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.
Even the idea of pausing and taking a step back is foreign to many of us.
We're always moving forward, focused on the default path: job, title, salary, career, net worth, a new sports car, a bigger and better house.
We’re so focused on the resume build we don’t notice life is passing us by.
So, as you go through your week, think about what you're building. Are you focusing on your resume or your eulogy? The answer could change everything.
To hear more about Building Your Eulogy vs Resume, Listen on Apple and Spotify or watch on YouTube:
I love hearing from readers and I'm always looking for your feedback.
How I'm doing with the Growth Guide. Is there anything you want to see more of or less? Which aspects of the Newsletter or Podcast do you like the most?
Hit reply, say hello, and let me know what you think of the Time We Have.
Welcome to the Growth Guide where I simplify psychology, success and money by sharing advice from millionaires, expert authors and my life to help you grow: Personally, Professionally and Financially. Join 26,000+ readers!
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